Vicious Cycle
Our girls play good cop bad cop. All. The. Time. This behavior is not unique to my kids, and I don't even think it's got a thing to do with being twins. It's just kid stuff, but it drives me bats. And, since I watch it so frequently I've spent some time deconstructing it.
When one is whiny and crying (often the result of a power struggle or demand for something she knows she can't have), and likely in some sort of removal or time out for that behavior, the other is all sweetness and light. Cheerful. Quiet. Self-entertaining. Then, the tide changes and the grumpy one will cheer up, and just at that moment the other will have a problem that requires crying or whining. Or perhaps an attempt to wrest a band-aid from mom (if there's no blood, they can't have a band-aid, but they do their best to get me to waive that rule). It's actually quite fascinating to watch from a social interaction perspective. Their priorities shift so silently and swiftly.
Here's how I figure their little brains work: At first it's better to try win the power struggle, and when that's a defeated cause it becomes better to behave. But the other sister, who got attention being good when her sister was upstairs crying on her bed, no longer has a lock on attention because there are now two good kids in the room. So, how to stand out? Suddenly have a reason to cry and whine. Which can become a power struggle when mom tells you whining is not allowed.
Fascinating, maybe, but maddening. What about you? Your kids do anything like this? Empathy appreciated.
When one is whiny and crying (often the result of a power struggle or demand for something she knows she can't have), and likely in some sort of removal or time out for that behavior, the other is all sweetness and light. Cheerful. Quiet. Self-entertaining. Then, the tide changes and the grumpy one will cheer up, and just at that moment the other will have a problem that requires crying or whining. Or perhaps an attempt to wrest a band-aid from mom (if there's no blood, they can't have a band-aid, but they do their best to get me to waive that rule). It's actually quite fascinating to watch from a social interaction perspective. Their priorities shift so silently and swiftly.
Here's how I figure their little brains work: At first it's better to try win the power struggle, and when that's a defeated cause it becomes better to behave. But the other sister, who got attention being good when her sister was upstairs crying on her bed, no longer has a lock on attention because there are now two good kids in the room. So, how to stand out? Suddenly have a reason to cry and whine. Which can become a power struggle when mom tells you whining is not allowed.
Fascinating, maybe, but maddening. What about you? Your kids do anything like this? Empathy appreciated.
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