When you least expect it
Maybe finding your way in a new community is like dating. It's common knowledge that when you're desperate to find that perfect someone you won't, but when you're not looking he shows up. (For instance, on the subway.)
This weekend funnydad and I were minding our own business, not actively trying to recruit friendships when a neighbor knocked on our door and asked if we wanted to bike over to meet "Ralphie" the live buffalo mascot for Colorado University at Boulder. Of course we did. So we piled our kids in the chariot, he piled his kids in his chariot and off we went in a little bicycle caravan. To get there Sebastian showed us bike routes through town that we hadn't figured out on our own yet. Suddenly Boulder blossomed in my mind -- things connected, the ease of getting around on a bike became even more clear, and instead of feeling "small" as I've often characterized this place, it felt "accessable." There are places I may never drive to again. Seriously. And since shared experiences are one of the fastest ways to build a friendship, this was a great way to get to know Sebastian and for our girls to play with his daughter in a setting beyond tricycles in our cul-de-sac. Ralphie herself was completely uninteresting to all four children, although I thought she was kind of cool. The temporary CU logo tatoos (applied by CU cheerleaders), bouncy castle, and big inflatable slide, were, however, huge hits. The big numbers on the indoor field were a lot of fun, too.
And then, on Sunday morning we took the girls to a playground under sunny 65 degree skies (the weather, I'm telling you, is amazing here. Off and on throughout the winter we're told to expect spells like this). I've spent many afternoons on this playground making small talk with other parents, and while I've had a few nice conversations, I haven't made any lasting connections. But on Sunday we met two couples there whom we both enjoyed talking with. They may become friends, and I hope they do, but what's more important is what they represent to me; I needed hope. And these simple events of the weekend represent hope, hope that we will figure out how to feel like we're part of the community here, make friends, feel comfortable. I guess when you're not looking for it that's when these things happen.
This weekend funnydad and I were minding our own business, not actively trying to recruit friendships when a neighbor knocked on our door and asked if we wanted to bike over to meet "Ralphie" the live buffalo mascot for Colorado University at Boulder. Of course we did. So we piled our kids in the chariot, he piled his kids in his chariot and off we went in a little bicycle caravan. To get there Sebastian showed us bike routes through town that we hadn't figured out on our own yet. Suddenly Boulder blossomed in my mind -- things connected, the ease of getting around on a bike became even more clear, and instead of feeling "small" as I've often characterized this place, it felt "accessable." There are places I may never drive to again. Seriously. And since shared experiences are one of the fastest ways to build a friendship, this was a great way to get to know Sebastian and for our girls to play with his daughter in a setting beyond tricycles in our cul-de-sac. Ralphie herself was completely uninteresting to all four children, although I thought she was kind of cool. The temporary CU logo tatoos (applied by CU cheerleaders), bouncy castle, and big inflatable slide, were, however, huge hits. The big numbers on the indoor field were a lot of fun, too.
And then, on Sunday morning we took the girls to a playground under sunny 65 degree skies (the weather, I'm telling you, is amazing here. Off and on throughout the winter we're told to expect spells like this). I've spent many afternoons on this playground making small talk with other parents, and while I've had a few nice conversations, I haven't made any lasting connections. But on Sunday we met two couples there whom we both enjoyed talking with. They may become friends, and I hope they do, but what's more important is what they represent to me; I needed hope. And these simple events of the weekend represent hope, hope that we will figure out how to feel like we're part of the community here, make friends, feel comfortable. I guess when you're not looking for it that's when these things happen.
Comments