Artistic license to the rescue
So I signed us up to go see a children's theater production. It seemed like a good thing to do, a fun outing on a Saturday afternoon. The girls had never seen a live play before. Aren't we always looking for things to do with them on the weekends? The show was advertised as for children ages preschool through five. Bingo. I got four tickets. Plus, it was through the twins club here -- there were 80 tickets, potentially 20 sets of twins and their families there. Perhaps, I thought, I'd meet someone with twins my girls' age. I was all proud of myself for planning such a nice event for our family.
Except the show was Jack and the Beanstalk. Do you remember the story? It's scary. Really scary. I checked a book out of the library so M and O would know the story in advance. There's a giant who EATS LITTLE KIDS. He bellows Fee Fi Fo Fun and stomps around. Up until now the scariest thing my kids have been able to face is swiper from Dora, and even then they sometimes quiver and run.
Then there's the message of the story (a quick summary for those of you who may not remember the folktale): Jack and his mom are on their last penny, so they sell their cow. Jack manages to get hoodwinked into taking a bag of magic beans for the cow instead of cash, much to the ire of his mom. She throws the beans out the window where they sprout overnight into a giant beanstalk. Jack climbs up, finds a giant's house and the giant's wife feeds him (he was very hungry) and helps him hide from the giant because the giant likes little boys broiled on toast. When the giant falls asleep Jack runs, stealing a bag of gold (that's how you treat someone who just gave you a meal and saved your life?). In another visit, Jack steals a goose that lays golden eggs. Jack and his mom live quite nicely for a while, but then, the story says they are no longer content (we're promoting greed here, people) so he goes back up to steal from the giant again, taking a magic harp. On that visit Jack lures the giant to the beanstalk and causes him to tumble to his death. Then, the story goes, Jack and his mother live happily ever after on the loot they have stolen from the giant (who probably has a widow up in the clouds).
So there I am on the floor of the folklore section of the library trying to pick out the least scary version of this story, and I'm thinking: we're sunk. I say to myself, wow, you really didn't think this one through, did you? So much for my great idea. I choose a book and we read it several times before the big day, which causes my children to say, unprompted, things like, "I don't like stories with giants in them." The big day comes and as we drive over to the theater I figure we have a 50/50 chance of making it through the whole show.
Turns out the theater company took a lot of artistic license with the story and we needn't have worried. In fact, we might have been in better shape if we hadn't read the library book at all. In this version, the giant stole the gold, goose and harp from Jack and his mom in the first place, so stealing them back isn't as morally questionable. And, the giant isn't really mean, he is just lonely (the giant in the theater version apparently doesn't have a wife). In fact, in the end, Jack invites him to live with Jack and his mom. The giant does sing (not roar) Fee Fi Fo Fum, but you can't exactly cut the most famous line in a story, so it was okay.
We made it through the whole show, including a Q+A part at the end where they showed the kids how the set worked and how the giant got around on his stilts. Big relief. We didn't make any fellow twin-parent friends, but I was so relieved that we'd averted disaster that I didn't care. At a restaurant after the show O even reported that her favorite character was the giant! (M's was Jack.) Then today, a couple days after our theater experience, Funnydad took the girls to the library to return some books. Jack and the Beanstalk came back home again. Why? They didn't want to give it back yet.
Except the show was Jack and the Beanstalk. Do you remember the story? It's scary. Really scary. I checked a book out of the library so M and O would know the story in advance. There's a giant who EATS LITTLE KIDS. He bellows Fee Fi Fo Fun and stomps around. Up until now the scariest thing my kids have been able to face is swiper from Dora, and even then they sometimes quiver and run.
Then there's the message of the story (a quick summary for those of you who may not remember the folktale): Jack and his mom are on their last penny, so they sell their cow. Jack manages to get hoodwinked into taking a bag of magic beans for the cow instead of cash, much to the ire of his mom. She throws the beans out the window where they sprout overnight into a giant beanstalk. Jack climbs up, finds a giant's house and the giant's wife feeds him (he was very hungry) and helps him hide from the giant because the giant likes little boys broiled on toast. When the giant falls asleep Jack runs, stealing a bag of gold (that's how you treat someone who just gave you a meal and saved your life?). In another visit, Jack steals a goose that lays golden eggs. Jack and his mom live quite nicely for a while, but then, the story says they are no longer content (we're promoting greed here, people) so he goes back up to steal from the giant again, taking a magic harp. On that visit Jack lures the giant to the beanstalk and causes him to tumble to his death. Then, the story goes, Jack and his mother live happily ever after on the loot they have stolen from the giant (who probably has a widow up in the clouds).
So there I am on the floor of the folklore section of the library trying to pick out the least scary version of this story, and I'm thinking: we're sunk. I say to myself, wow, you really didn't think this one through, did you? So much for my great idea. I choose a book and we read it several times before the big day, which causes my children to say, unprompted, things like, "I don't like stories with giants in them." The big day comes and as we drive over to the theater I figure we have a 50/50 chance of making it through the whole show.
Turns out the theater company took a lot of artistic license with the story and we needn't have worried. In fact, we might have been in better shape if we hadn't read the library book at all. In this version, the giant stole the gold, goose and harp from Jack and his mom in the first place, so stealing them back isn't as morally questionable. And, the giant isn't really mean, he is just lonely (the giant in the theater version apparently doesn't have a wife). In fact, in the end, Jack invites him to live with Jack and his mom. The giant does sing (not roar) Fee Fi Fo Fum, but you can't exactly cut the most famous line in a story, so it was okay.
We made it through the whole show, including a Q+A part at the end where they showed the kids how the set worked and how the giant got around on his stilts. Big relief. We didn't make any fellow twin-parent friends, but I was so relieved that we'd averted disaster that I didn't care. At a restaurant after the show O even reported that her favorite character was the giant! (M's was Jack.) Then today, a couple days after our theater experience, Funnydad took the girls to the library to return some books. Jack and the Beanstalk came back home again. Why? They didn't want to give it back yet.
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