Pink Ribbon Blues
It's now the week before my big Avon Walk. I walk next weekend, June 28-29. If you'd like to donate, there's still time. If you're tired of my groveling for dollars, you can ignore me guilt-free: I made my fundraising requirement. I'd love more support, but I am cleared to participate now that my many friends (and some strangers) have coughed up $2150. (Though, if I raise another $50 I get a baseball hat.)
I am sure I'll post more after the Big Event, but the truth, dear blog reader (both of you), is that I'm kind of over this whole Avon Walk thing. It's dragged on too long. The lead-up has been too slow. I signed up sometime last fall, jazzed and excited, so thrilled I literally jumped up and down when I decided to do it. My concerns at the time were about raising the money, not completing the walk. Turns out, fundraising was a challenge and I didn't enjoy it, but I got it done with only minor stress. It's the training that had me in tears. Not the pain of it, though I had to work up to longer distances. The time. It takes a lot of time to train for the Avon Walk -- time in mileage because walking is s-l-o-w, and time every weekend to just do it and walk those long distances. After a while it got old. The weeds in my garden threatened to strangle my vegetable plants. My children began to wonder if I lived at home on Saturdays. My husband wished for time to do the things he enjoyed on occasion. Though I was committed to the Avon Walk, I wasn't committed to it all costs, and the stress I felt as I tried to distribute what little "free" time I had among the things I wanted to do -- the stress was too much. Something had to give. The first thing that gave was my commitment to walking those 18 and 20-mile walks on the weekends in late May and early June. And sadly, the next thing that gave was my enthusiasm for the whole event. It became something to do, not something to look forward to. My commitment to the actual walk never waned a bit. My beef was with the toll training was taking.
Maybe it's that I signed up at the beginning winter in a town where I knew no one, and now winter has given way to early summer and I have a small collection of friends. Perhaps it's that I underestimated the demands of my gardens which take a LOT of care and feeding. Perhaps now that I've gotten out there and have built some regular exercise into my life I'm ready to have fun on the bike, on the rock wall, on a hike, at a strength-training class -- I want to do more than just walk.
I signed up for the Avon Walk for three reasons (other than it's a great cause), and it's done all three for me. One, I wanted an exercise goal, something to work toward. I'm not a runner, and this seemed like a lofty walking goal, and I thought I'd enjoy getting in shape with a goal in mind. As you've been reading, I've done that.
Two, I wanted to meet new people. This has happened, but not in the way I thought it would. I imagined walking the paths around Boulder talking to endlessly interesting women making fast friends in my new town. I imagined the supper clubs that would form, the sushi nights, the camaraderie among fellow trainees. None of that has happened, but my walking partner and I did pair up with a mom from the girls' preschool for training whom I've enjoyed getting to know. And today I walked with a woman who started a really cool women's sports apparel line called Born Fit. I learned a lot about launching a new business and got to see samples of her new line, which was fun.
Three, I wanted to get out there and learn more about Boulder, learn about places to walk, discover trails and paths. That's happened in spades. And there's still so much more to discover!
When my friend Allis earned her CPA, I hugged her and I shouted a hearty congratulations. She smiled, and said, yeah she was happy. But, it'd been a goal for so long that she wasn't even sure it was something she still really wanted.
I expect the feeling of the event, the scene of those 1500 people all there for the same purpose, the pink ribbons, the group synergy will carry me through. I expect once I'm there I'll get totally into the excitement and buzz of the event. And I'm sure once I've completed it I'll be proud. And once the pressure of having to fit in all the training is over, my distaste will melt away. I sure hope so. This has been a goal for a long time. But I know I still want it.
I am sure I'll post more after the Big Event, but the truth, dear blog reader (both of you), is that I'm kind of over this whole Avon Walk thing. It's dragged on too long. The lead-up has been too slow. I signed up sometime last fall, jazzed and excited, so thrilled I literally jumped up and down when I decided to do it. My concerns at the time were about raising the money, not completing the walk. Turns out, fundraising was a challenge and I didn't enjoy it, but I got it done with only minor stress. It's the training that had me in tears. Not the pain of it, though I had to work up to longer distances. The time. It takes a lot of time to train for the Avon Walk -- time in mileage because walking is s-l-o-w, and time every weekend to just do it and walk those long distances. After a while it got old. The weeds in my garden threatened to strangle my vegetable plants. My children began to wonder if I lived at home on Saturdays. My husband wished for time to do the things he enjoyed on occasion. Though I was committed to the Avon Walk, I wasn't committed to it all costs, and the stress I felt as I tried to distribute what little "free" time I had among the things I wanted to do -- the stress was too much. Something had to give. The first thing that gave was my commitment to walking those 18 and 20-mile walks on the weekends in late May and early June. And sadly, the next thing that gave was my enthusiasm for the whole event. It became something to do, not something to look forward to. My commitment to the actual walk never waned a bit. My beef was with the toll training was taking.
Maybe it's that I signed up at the beginning winter in a town where I knew no one, and now winter has given way to early summer and I have a small collection of friends. Perhaps it's that I underestimated the demands of my gardens which take a LOT of care and feeding. Perhaps now that I've gotten out there and have built some regular exercise into my life I'm ready to have fun on the bike, on the rock wall, on a hike, at a strength-training class -- I want to do more than just walk.
I signed up for the Avon Walk for three reasons (other than it's a great cause), and it's done all three for me. One, I wanted an exercise goal, something to work toward. I'm not a runner, and this seemed like a lofty walking goal, and I thought I'd enjoy getting in shape with a goal in mind. As you've been reading, I've done that.
Two, I wanted to meet new people. This has happened, but not in the way I thought it would. I imagined walking the paths around Boulder talking to endlessly interesting women making fast friends in my new town. I imagined the supper clubs that would form, the sushi nights, the camaraderie among fellow trainees. None of that has happened, but my walking partner and I did pair up with a mom from the girls' preschool for training whom I've enjoyed getting to know. And today I walked with a woman who started a really cool women's sports apparel line called Born Fit. I learned a lot about launching a new business and got to see samples of her new line, which was fun.
Three, I wanted to get out there and learn more about Boulder, learn about places to walk, discover trails and paths. That's happened in spades. And there's still so much more to discover!
When my friend Allis earned her CPA, I hugged her and I shouted a hearty congratulations. She smiled, and said, yeah she was happy. But, it'd been a goal for so long that she wasn't even sure it was something she still really wanted.
I expect the feeling of the event, the scene of those 1500 people all there for the same purpose, the pink ribbons, the group synergy will carry me through. I expect once I'm there I'll get totally into the excitement and buzz of the event. And I'm sure once I've completed it I'll be proud. And once the pressure of having to fit in all the training is over, my distaste will melt away. I sure hope so. This has been a goal for a long time. But I know I still want it.
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