Two Years

We've been out of Brooklyn for more than four years now. That's the way I think of it. How long has it been since we left New York? Not how long has Boulder, or Minneapolis, been our home. We closed on this house almost exactly two years ago exactly. And so, I'm a bit introspective.

In the circles of introspection I realized that my life in New York is completely inseparable from my pre-kids life. We moved when the girls were 9 months old. At the time they felt SO old to us. They weren't newborns. We'd survived the hardest part. Now, when I see a nine-month kid they look so tiny.

So there were 13 years without kids in New York, and then a measly less-than-a-year with infants? My NYC memories are full of the things I did before kids, luxurious things like yoga classes, and harder things like working until 9:00 many nights. I never had to jostle for a spot in a preschool, I didn't have to learn which sidewalks were okay for trikes and which were too crowded. I just had babies in the city. In Minneapolis I had toddlers. And now, in Boulder I have preschoolers.

So, with all this Thinking, I've realized how much my life has changed. It turns out I know a lot more than I did four years ago.

I know about ice dams and roof rakes and that I never want to deal with either again.

I know water is a touchy subject in the west, as well as a common source of recreation in Minnesota. I miss the lake house culture. Not that we took full advantage of it, but wow, it's almost worth putting up with a Minnesota winter to spend a week at one of those lovely lakes listening to loons at night. But you can't move 10,000 lakes to the high arid plains, and water is a Big Deal out here. Until two months ago you couldn't even have a rainwater collection barrel in Colorado.

I know about open space and uff-da. I know that the Chautauqua Auditorium is the equivalent of the Lake Harriet Bandshell is the equivalent of the Prospect Park Bandshell. And they're all delightful places to be in the summer for an evening concert.

I know about "Minnesota Nice" (which isn't) and the bond that forms between transplants to a new part of the country. Neither can replace old friends with whom you have shared experiences.

I know about old friends with whom I have shared experiences, and that as time marches on the distance makes even those shared experiences no longer enough to hold us together the way I'd hoped. We visit, and it feels distant. The time/distance combo sucks away some relationships, and it's sad. But for others, time makes no difference. You can't always predict which friends you'll stay close to when you move away. (If you're reading this blog, you're probably one who's sticking, and I'm grateful.)

I know that having lived in New York is not the same thing as having lived in Brooklyn. But once you cross the east river that nuance is lost on everyone but me and funnydad.

I know that "back east" is good enough to explain where I came from because no one really cares. Unless they're from back east, too.

I know what xeric landscaping is, and I know how to install and run a drip irrigation system. I know that leafy greens like nitrogen and tomatoes like fish emulsion, and that the second season of a community garden plot is far more rewarding than the first.

I know that Boulder is pretty awesome. It's becoming a home, and it feels right when we come back from a vacation. But I still don't have those good friends you call when you have a really bad day, or a really good day, and until I do, it won't really be home.

Maybe it'll take another two years, or four. Hope not. But we're here, regardless. Moving sucks, and I don't plan to do it again.